Why do we feel conflicted over Torah and mitzvot? – a post for Shavuot

by Yedidah on May 26, 2020

learning Torah in Jerusalem

When the Holy Blessed One gave the Torah, the bird did not sing, the eagle did not fly, the ox did not low,  the Ofanim did not stir, the Seraphim did not praise,  the seas stopped their motion, no creatures spoke, but the world was silent, Then the voice came forth, I am the Lord Your God.” ( Midrash)

This is the incredible moment which we experienced when we united as one at Mount Sinai.

Indeed, all the Jewish people living today are sparks of the 600, 000 root souls of Israel that stood together at Mount Sinai and received the Torah. Those root souls are us. We reincarnate, time and again, throughout the generations. And so we too stood together at the foot of the Mountain and experienced the voice of God. That moment is forever etched into our souls.

On the other hand when we are told what is in the Torah, we begin to see it makes demands on us. It demands that we work with it,  learn it, practice it.  It makes ethical demands, in action not just in thought. It has mitzvot for us to keep whether they are convenient or not, whether we have grown up with them or not; mitzvot which declare our relationship with God as well as delineating our ethical relationship with our fellow human being; mitzvot of action and of feeling; mitzvot of thought and speech. The Torah demands a living, active relationship with God, here in the now. Not as something historical. The Torah doesn’t let us bask in a cozy armchair feeling of being one of the chosen people but it demands a relationship in the present. A renewed covenant, a renewed commitment. That is the meaning for us of the upcoming festival of Shavuot.

Suddenly we feel unsure. Stereotypes come into our mind; we feel threatened, as if somehow our identity is threatened, we get defensive.  

This complex relationship with the Torah is not new. It is not specific to the 21st century modern western Jew, but indeed it was addressed by the sages of the Talmud using a Midrash. Midrash are parables told by the sages in which they explore the relationships between elements that exist together on the same spiritual level. They are very good teaching tools if understood in the correct way.

Just as we would not take Aesop’s story of the hare and the tortoise running a race literally, but we understand it as being a tale that teaches us that the better way to work is methodically and patiently rather than with fast sprints, so we look to see what the underlying message of the Midrash is without taking its imagery literally.

In the Midrash that we will look at today it states that before God offered the Torah to the Children of Israel He offered it first to the other nations. Each one wanted to know what was in it, but on being told “Thou shall not murder, thou shall not commit adultery,” they refused it. Whereas Israel said Naaseh! we will do it! .

In order to understand this Midrash in its true light as a teaching tale, we really need to see it as all happening in one person. We have both the aspect of Israel and the aspect of the other nations within us. These aspects of ourselves view Torah in a completely opposite fashion. Our soul says ” Yes” whereas “our other nations” within us, which are aspects of ego that only want to serve our own ends, often say a very emphatic no!

How do we begin to sort this out? When we explain this famous Midrash in the way that Rabbi Yehudah Leib Ashlag, the great Kabbalist, taught, we can see for ourselves where our inner conflict with respect to Torah originates.

As we begin to pay attention to the Voice of God that we heard at Mount Sinai and which still reverberates deep within us, the aspects of our conflict over Torah begin to resolve.

Listen to the full podcast

This podcast is dedicated in loving memory and for the ilui Nishmat of Feigi Bat Rivka z”l and Aharon and Sara Kotler, May their memories be a blessing for us.

The Master of the Ladder: The Life and Teachings of Rabbi Yehudah Leib Ashlag by Rabbi Avraham Mordecai Gottlieb is now available from www.nehorapress.com

“The purpose of our spiritual work is to come to love our fellow.” Rabbi Gottlieb effectively combines profile and theology in this accessible and enlightening biography of Rabbi Yehudah Leib Ashlag, widely-credited with opening up Kabbalah. A glowing work.” —Publishers Weekly

“The Master of the Ladder tells the wondrous tale of a true sage and introduces us to his teachings. This biography of Rabbi Yehudah Leib Ashlag makes it possible for all of us to take the first step on the ladder that ascends to the Heavens and penetrates the depths of our mind and heart.” —Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, Spiritual Supervisor REITS, Yeshiva University, founder of Congregation Aish Kodesh, Woodmere, New York

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